The Baby Blues & Postpartum Depression

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It’s important to distinguish between the baby blues and postpartum depression. The baby blues is much more common, and leaves mothers feeling overwhelmed by the sleepless nights, the crying of the baby, and all the changes that come with taking care of a newborn baby. It’s best to seek assistance from a loved one (your partner, a family member, or a friend) to help you out with the baby or even just to talk to them for support. Continue reading

I Lied To My Therapist – Postpartum Depression & The Baby Blues

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As I held my newborn daughter in my arms, I realized my life was exactly as I envisioned it to be – it was perfect! I was healthy, I had a supportive husband, amazing family and friends, living in a beautiful home, and a promising career ahead of me. But most importantly, I had just given my 4 year old daughter a healthy baby sister. In other words, you can say that I was living in a moment of content. A very short moment. I’m not sure when it all happened, but it seemed like things changed instantly- and drastically.

The symptoms:
Suddenly, I had lost my appetite and this led to me starving myself for days. The only way I could fall asleep was by crying. In fact, I cried so much every night that my pillow became drenched in tears and my depressed eyes became swollen. Then, there was that urge to run away from everything and everyone; I just needed to escape from this world that I was drowning in. The thought of killing myself was a constant. The worst part was the immense guilt I felt for feeling this way. How dare I feel this way?! I had everything I ever wanted in life, that most people only dream of having! I had a family to take care of; it was selfish for me to leave them when they needed me! But, despite convincing myself that I had it all, I still felt as if I had nothing. I just couldn’t fight this void feeling; however, I did try to conceal it. I put a huge amount of effort into hiding these feelings from my friends and family, and even my husband. In front of them, I had to remind myself to slap on a fake smile, afterall, I didn’t want to be judged. It was bad enough I was judging myself, I didn’t need another person informing me that it was selfish to feel this way. Continue reading