That Second Pregnancy Guilt

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When I was pregnant with my second child, I had extreme guilt – I couldn’t help it but feel guilty for not spending enough time with my first child, for I was on bed rest for 7 weeks due to unexpected complications. I felt guilty just thinking about leaving my first-born at my mom’s house for a couple of days so I could have my baby at the hospital. I felt guilty, for I knew I would have to pay more attention to the newborn baby than my first child. I just felt guilty.

This post isn’t about me telling you how not to feel guilty, because you most likely will during your second pregnancy. However, this post is about informing all you pregnant moms, expecting your second child, that you will most likely feel that sharp guilt poking you throughout your pregnant days. But, I’m also telling you that it’s okay, and it’s completely normal. It’s normal because when you become pregnant with your second child, your memories of your first-born come rushing back happily into your thoughts. You remember the first time you held your oldest child for the first time, the first time your baby wrapped those tiny fingers around your forefinger. The first time you sniffed that baby smell while you rocked your baby to sleep at 3 AM. Oh, and the first time your baby gave you that drooling smile; yes THAT smile that stole your heart forever, THAT smile that people said was just gas, THAT smile that was the first of many.

Suddenly, you feel your second baby kicking in your womb, and you are now rushed back into the present day reality. Reality meaning feeling constant guilt, that gets stronger when you are around your firstborn. But you know what? That guilt just means you love your first child, and you are afraid of making your child feel neglected – but you won’t. You will find a way to give both children the right amount of attention when the time comes. You will love both children equally. And most importantly, you will find that this guilt suddenly disappears when you see your child holding your newborn baby for the first time. You won’t even remember the guilt when you see THAT huge smile on your first-born’s face that illuminates the hospital room; THAT same smile will reappear after your first born kisses your newborn for the first time, and THAT smile will always show up whenever your first child helps you with the new baby. That guilt will then be replaced with content. © The Muslimah Mommy (2014)
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4 thoughts on “That Second Pregnancy Guilt

  1. Salaam. I enjoyed reading your story however Ulhamdulillah I never felt guilty at all lol. I here some mothers say they would rather wait to have children because they feel guilty but Ulhamdulillah o never felt that and I feel giving my children siblings is the best gift ever 🙂 may Allah bless you all x

    • Wasalam sister, Jazak’Allah Khair for your comment 🙂 Alhumdulillah, giving your child a sibling is definitely a blessing, however most women do feel guilty due to the thought of giving their first child less attention. Masha’Allah I’m so glad you didn’t have this guilt, however, it is completely normal to have these feeling of guilt, despite knowing Allah SWT has given you the blessing of a second child. Stay blessed sister, and thank you for visiting my blog xoxo

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